Last Word
By Jimmy Roberts
This is the issue and time of year I normally bemoan what I like to think of as “the great conspiracy of the calendar.”
Just as I seem to be figuring out something in my golf swing, and just as my handicap finally seems to be heading south rather than north, it’s literally time to head south … because north is unplayable. (Sorry, I call it a season at two layers. Anything more than that is me just pretending I can really turn my body in the first place.)
What’s more depressing than a short, gray, winter day, is the prospect that come springtime, chances are I may have no idea – zero – what those useful and productive swing thoughts were that gave me such hope in the summer and fall.
I know … I could go someplace warm for a break from the frozen turf and cold – and I no doubt will – but those trips never seem to provide enough time to remember what I was doing when my golf swing was working. And sometimes the trips – despite the warmth – just send me home a little cold in spirit: “Ugh! How could I forget EVERYTHING so quickly?”
I too often spend the trip back staring out the window wondering if my late season epiphanies were just lucky aberrations. What I need is some consistency, the tool that helped me climb – at least temporarily – out of the morass.
I think I may have found it.
On the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week, my family and I spent an evening at Five Iron Golf, an indoor golf facility that allows you to “play” and practice using golf simulators. It was remarkably pleasant.
And while I wasn’t taking divots – you’re hitting off mats – using the launch monitor and big screen to track the flight of my ball, made for a remarkably real and useful experience.
It was 38 degrees outside, and I was wearing a rather fetching (if I do say) short sleeve golf shirt.
A complete win.
Five Iron’s a great place, although a little pricey (I have to say, though, the cheeseburger sliders were outstanding), but it’s one of only several options around the Met Area that includes Golfzon Social, Golf Lounge 18, Dryvebox, The Hack Stack, and others.
This type of thing might take some getting used to: It’s kinda like golf meets The Truman Show.
An outdoor game … just not really outdoors (the cheeseburger sliders, though, may just tip the scales.)
Beyond the many places to go, increasingly there’s now the possibility of not actually having to go anywhere. You could have one of these things in your home! (Oh my god, it would turn me into a total recluse!)
If you’re willing to take the DIY route, believe it or not, you could build a simulator for as little as $3,000.
A lot of possibilities: the basement or maybe the garage? At our house, I would choose the living room, which has basically been not much more than a museum for as long as we’ve lived here.
More than 47 million Americans “played” golf in 2024, according to the National Golf Foundation. But 40% of them didn’t get anywhere near an actual golf course.
It’s all apparently part of a growing trend: An estimated 6.2 million Americans hit golf balls in a simulator in 2024, which is up 73% compared to pre-pandemic levels, says the NGF. For what it’s worth, that’s about equal to the total populations of Phoenix, Philadelphia, San Diego, and Dallas – combined.
Those numbers are nothing though compared to the mania for golf and its indoor version in Korea, where it’s estimated that five and a half million people play the game and there are 9,700 “golf screen locations.” That means there is one location for every 696 Koreans who play the game. And that doesn’t even include people who have them in their homes.
Yikes!
This is all so encouraging to me.
So in the cold of winter, when some people are having thoughts of sugar plums dancing in their heads (what the hell is a sugar plum anyway?), I have a much more exciting thought: finally turning my living room into something useful.