I feel (strongest feeling)
when you (objective description of the behavior)
because (specific impact or consequences)
I would like (what you want the person to do in the future to prevent the problem)
Scenario: You are annoyed with your roommate, who is constantly eating your food without asking or replacing it. You come home after a long day of school and work, to look in the fridge and see that the last of your food is gone, once again. Your roommate walks out of their room to greet you. You’re so fed up that you yell “Stop eating my food! Just get your own!”
Response using an “I” statement: I feel frustrated when you eat my food without asking because I plan my meals based on what I have in the fridge. I would like for you to let me know in advance if you want to get groceries with me, or if you want to share food.
Scenario: It’s been a stressful week of school, and you are really looking forward to the weekend. You made plans with a friend to hang out on Saturday, and all of a sudden it’s Saturday morning and you’re about to meet up with them, and they text to let you know they won’t be able to hang out after all. You’re feeling disappointed, and don’t know how you should respond to your friend.
How would you respond using an “I” statement?
I feel _____________________________________________________________
when you _________________________________________________________
because __________________________________________________________
I would like ________________________________________________________
What are some conflicts you have encountered so far?
_________________________________________________________________