Rather than wringing their hands over bad scores and lazy practice sessions, parents can lend support by paying attention to their child’s physical development and how it relates to equipment needs. They can also put their child in front of a golf professional who can help guide both physical and mental development.
“There’s got to be a lot of inner drive from the child, and there’s no better way to harness that drive than finding someone who understands what that drive feels like and knows the game of golf,” Fisher said.
Parents who understand the game and how ruthless it can be on a young psyche are typically the most “mellow,” Kochevar said.
“They’re usually the ones who are less overdramatic. They understand that the game is hard,” he said.
Parents should have the understanding that it is nearly impossible to predict whether a junior golfer will become an accomplished player, said Sam McKenney, the director of player development at Wildcat Golf Academy in Evanston and Glenview.
“There are zero guarantees,” McKenney said. “You could be the hardest worker in the world. You could put all the time into it. You can do all the right things and still not reach your goals.”
John and Kim Hardy had a small house on a large piece of property in Northbrook. In the backyard, John — a once-a-week golfer — would chip and pitch while his young son Nick eagerly swung a plastic club and chased balls around the lot.
“That’s all he wanted to do,” John said. “As he kept growing, he just loved hitting golf balls. It was all motivated by him.”
Nick Hardy’s motivation eventually led him to tell his fourth-grade teacher about his aspirations, said John, whose son is now on the PGA Tour and notched a victory at the Zurich Classic of New Orleans in 2023.
“She sent a note home saying how much she enjoyed Nick and asked if we were aware that he was going to be a professional golfer,” John said. “Even at that age, he was playing and talking about it. It’s what he is all about.”
Parents can also be supportive rather than overbearing by providing transportation to and from courses and practice facilities and helping their child schedule tee times and practice sessions.
“It’s the parents’ role to be supportive and to be realistic,” McKenney said. “At the end of the day, you’re just going to love your child regardless. It doesn’t define who the child is as a person.”
They can also sign their child up for local junior tournaments, where they can serve as their biggest cheerleader instead of their biggest critic.
“Never tell them that they can’t do it. Never say it’s too hard. I always told Nick, ‘Why not you?’” Hardy said.
Even with talent and interest, a child’s personality may not fit golf — a sport that can be tedious compared to team sports like football or basketball — said Matt Wennmaker, executive director of the Illinois Junior Golf Association.
“There’s a chance they start at seven and by 10, it’s just too boring for them, and they’d rather be in a team atmosphere,” Wennmaker said. “Every kid has their own personality. As a parent, adapting to that is your best approach.”
Trouble often arises when teenagers stop playing for themselves.
“You can want your kid to do something and sign them up for all the travel sports, but if you’re the one driving the bus, it’s not going to last,” Hardy said. “The player eventually learns they’re doing it to make their parents happy, and that doesn’t last.”
Golf is already a pressure-packed game. Added pressure from parents can produce negative consequences.
“Competing is high stress, even in junior golf. These kids are under a lot of pressure. If they don’t love it, they’re going to hate it,” Hardy said.
That also means setting realistic expectations. Parents can use quantitative rankings on the Junior Golf Scoreboard to see where their child stands compared to others in their area, state or graduating class.
Parents of young golfers who hope to play in college must also understand the challenges they face: limited roster spots, increased international talent and the transfer portal all complicate recruiting decisions.
A more competitive college program may mean fewer playing opportunities, while a less competitive program may offer a better environment for continued development.
“Guiding parents toward realistic fits is ultimately better for the kid,” Kochevar said.
In the end, it comes down to what the young player wants from the game, according to Fisher.
“It should never be about what the parent wants their kid to get out of golf — other than meeting great people, playing great places and having fun,” he said.
A former news correspondent with Thomson Reuters, Brendan O’Brien currently is chief of staff at The Golf Practice.
Grainy videos of golf legends swinging clubs as toddlers have long fueled daydreams of our own child becoming the next Tiger Woods. But for parents of mere mortals, the more important — and realistic — question is when and how to introduce children to the game.
“I don’t think there’s a right age,” said Matt Wennmaker, executive director of the Illinois Junior Golf Association. “I think it depends on the mentality of the kid, the commitment from the kid. I also think it depends on how athletic they are.”
Parents can start by giving a child as young as 3 or 4 years old a small plastic putter and letting them play on or around the green, where they can develop hand-eye coordination and a basic understanding of the game, said local PGA professional Dan Kochevar, a renowned junior golf instructor.
“If they have a chance to get the ball into the hole, they’re going to enjoy it. Make that the fun part,” said Kochevar, the 2015 Illinois PGA Teacher of the Year who works at The Preserve at Oak Meadows and the Links and Tees Golf Dome in Addison.
As children get a bit older, parents can introduce a small wedge or even a three-club set designed for young players. From there, children can chip and putt around the green. Because of their smaller stature, the golf hole appears larger to them, especially at close range, which can help build confidence and enjoyment.
Sam McKenney of Wildcat Golf Academy in Evanston and Glenview suggests parents even consider taking their children to a miniature golf course as a fun way to introduce them to the game.
“Whatever they can do to make it as fun and nonthreatening as possible, so their child wants to do it again,” said McKenney, director of player development at Wildcat Golf. “Do it in the most fun and enjoyable way possible, with no intent other than wanting your child to enjoy the game, regardless of how good they might become.”
The next step is getting the child onto a golf course. Although riding in a golf cart can be thrilling, Kochevar suggested parents encourage young children to walk, at least for a hole or two.
“Set up a series of little goals they can achieve and, all of a sudden, they start to see the fun part of sequencing things together,” Kochevar said.
Another advantage to walking is that children gain a better understanding of the land, he added.
“It’s a land game,” Kochevar said. “If you give a young child a chance to understand the land, that’s going to be a huge advantage as they get bigger. It becomes more instinctive.”
Parents can also encourage interest in golf by associating the game with fun and rewards.
“Let them have fun the first few times and let them go at their own pace,” Wennmaker said. “Giving them something to look forward to after golf, such as ice cream, creates a deeper interest in the sport. If there’s a prize at the end of the session, that’s great.”
Parents should also consider lessons with a PGA professional or group instruction for young children, according to Wennmaker and Kochevar.
As children grow, parents should pay close attention to the clubs they are using. Clubs that are the wrong size or have incorrect shaft stiffness can hinder development. Kochevar recommends evaluating a child’s clubs each year, noting that boys and girls develop at different rates.
“Once you get through that first year, I think it’s time to get them the right clubs that fit them and help them develop more quickly,” Wennmaker said.
—Brendan O’Brien
