THE LAST WORD
Do you ever feel as a gardener that you do not know as much as everyone else? That the grass, flowers, and veggies are always more bountiful on the other side? Does that imposter syndrome sometimes creep in?
Two of our columnists, Eli Appely-Donald and Karen Stewart-Russell, put on their big pants and both signed up, for the first time, unknown to each other, to a Summer Fruit Pruning workshop run by The Caley, and the last word in this issue goes to their experiences of pushing out of their comfort zones.
As gardening confessions go, you generally don’t expect to hear a confession of, “I avoid official gardening things”. That sounds so terrible to write, even to me, so let me explain where I’m coming from.
I found the utter joy that is gardening a bit later in life, I’m fashionably late to the party, and I have pretty much taught myself to garden. So there is of course that part of me, that part of all of us, that worries about being judged and found wanting.
My first experience of a kind of official meeting with another gardener resulted in them telling me all about some plants that they were certain I knew about: they gave me all the names however, in Latin. I of course, nodded sagely, agreed, and hoped they hadn’t realised that I had no idea what they were talking about. I should have stopped them, I should have asked them to give me the common names, but I was afraid.
I do, of course, know that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more I avoid attending any kind of official gardening get-together or club, the more I cast myself as the outsider. If I don’t attend, I’ll never see a photo on social media, watch a promotional video, or indeed see an advert for a gardening event where I see other people who look like me, represent me, or feel familiar to me. Turn the clock forward a little and I have made the promise that I’ll be the change I want to see.
The first step in the new Eli was to actually join our Scottish gardening society, The Caley, The Royal Caledonian Horticultural Society.
Just this act of joining instantly provided opportunities to test my resolve and see if I could be brave and go through with my promise to actually go to some gardening events. The Summer Fruit Pruning Workshop was coming up, something I have been slowly teaching myself about, and it was in The Caley allotment site which isn’t too far from us - I was running out of excuses now.
For those of you who are currently reading along with me and relate as the shy gardeners who are uncomfortable with those new experiences, new people, or who worry that they don’t see themselves represented in gardening clubs, let me just tell you straight off, it was brilliant!
I won’t lie, I was uncomfortable at the thought of being too early and having to hang around on my own or worse, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger. The first thing that happened though was that I met someone else, who was clearly on their own and uncomfortable. I was brave, I introduced myself, and watched the sheer relief on their face that they now had someone to talk to.
Truth be told, the rest of the day went by so quickly because I had so much fun, but that would make for a boring tale. Instead, let me tell you what stuck in my memory of the day. Firstly, most of the attendees were women, mostly looking like they were in their forties to sixties. Everyone looked a little nervous, and a little shy, and in the snippets of hushed conversation I could hear, almost everyone was mentioning a particular skill or plant they’d come to learn about.
The volunteers hosting the day and looking after the visitors were so friendly and welcoming, but they didn’t impose, they didn’t behave in any way to insinuate that having this band of strangers descend on their hard-worked allotment was in any way troublesome. They just smiled, a lot.
Now I know you are keen to hear about the actual pruning demonstration itself, so let me tell you, no one left still feeling anxious or worried about pruning. Given it was hosted by Scotland’s very own king of the secateurs, George Anderson, we all left much more confident that we could prune in a manner that we’d previously considered harsh but now know that the secret to summer pruning is just about telling that fruit tree or bush how it had to earn its keep. The whole day was designed to let you find your confidence and there were so many entertaining anecdotes that we were all feeling very comfortable in our own experiences before we reached the halfway point.
The halfway point was about an hour and a bit in. An hour and a bit of being part of a crowd of strangers in a strange allotment. An hour and a bit it took me to realise that I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was having fun. I was chatting to the other visitors as we watched. Passing around various branches, explaining parts they hadn’t heard, sharing stories about our own attempts at pruning currants or gooseberries, and competing about who had made the biggest mistakes in their own gardens.
By the end of the day, the crowd had disappeared and there were only a few of us stragglers left with the allotment volunteers, and I genuinely didn’t want to leave. I’d had fun, I’d learned some vital new skills, and gained a whole heap of confidence. I wanted to stay and ask about The Caley, the allotment, other events that might be happening and, what the volunteers did, and how they got involved.
The big question is, will I be attending more events like this one? Absolutely, I’m already looking through the list of evening lectures. My biggest fears were about not fitting in, or that I wouldn’t be seen as worthy. In fact, what I found was a crowd of down-to-earth folks who just want to learn about gardening, talk about gardening, and have fun.
No one brought prize-winning marrows or discussed their show bench-worthy tulips. If you are shy and nervous about attending a local gardening event, take it from me, there will be other folk there who feel the same way and will be only too glad to partner up with you to chat while you both find your feet. In fact, if you see me at an event, come chat and let me know that you are shy too - I’ll be glad of a like-minded soul to chat to.
When I first saw The Caley events advertised I must admit to feeling a little intimidated: their full title is The Royal Caledonian Horticultural Society which sounds very grand and serious.
I worried I would be like a fish out of water and really stick out. I am naturally a little shy and thought everyone would know each other and I would be left standing on my own. I arrived a little late due to traffic so just slid in at the back but was quickly put at ease by one of the lovely Caley ladies who came to say hello.
The workshop was held at the beautiful demonstration allotments which are very easy to find just minutes from the Cameron Toll shopping centre. The workshop was very educational but also very light-hearted and fun. George had so many great stories, a wealth of knowledge, and was very patient in answering our questions.
I learned how to prune apple, plum and pear trees, redcurrants, raspberries, and a lot more. It made so much more sense seeing it done in real life. I came away with so many ideas and lots of inspiration.
There was a wide range of people there and I made some new friends which was a real bonus. It really brought people together who all had a love of gardening and were happy to swap stories and advice.
I am looking forward to the Winter Pruning Workshop and am eagerly looking into what else The Caley have on their events calendar. I am so glad I decided to go, it was the most fun, relaxing, and happy afternoon in a gorgeous setting with the best company - I highly recommended.
Check out this issue's columns from Eli and Karen!