FRONT OF THE ROOM
Brian Lange
Here’s an area of challenge for trainers: managing participant comments and complaints. For example:
“Why do we…?”
“It’s too much information!”
“Can’t we just…?”
I asked recent training participants what it feels like when they are “challenged” like that. Not surprisingly, they replied that it can cause anxiety, nervousness, stress, frustration and other “unproductive” emotions.
So, I asked for some examples of how trainers tend to respond in those situations. Often, they said, they ask clarification questions, or attempt to explain more insight or content, or even ask what the audience member might like or do instead.
All very normal, human approaches, if you ask me. But there’s another strategy to consider, and it begins with an important mindset-shift:
You don’t have to “fix” the other person and their issue.
This may seem counterintuitive but let me explain: When a learner expresses a comment, complaint or challenge, you don’t know what they need from you. It could be advice or more insight, or maybe just an open ear, more confidence or a bit of empathy.
Trying to resolve their concern in your first response is likely to be misguided: You might guess the wrong thing they need from you. Remind yourself, “This is the other person’s issue.”
Here’s a way to structure your management of these situations:
Give the issue back to them by demonstrating that you hear them. Rephrase their comment, or identify an emotion you pick up: “So, for you, as you look at this content, it just seems a bit overwhelming.” Or, “Wow, you are not happy with the…” Sometimes, even an “OK, say more about that, please” works.
The key after your response is to be quiet! Let them speak some more so you can learn (and maybe they vent a bit to lower the emotional temperature). This response should not contain a question for more info, or any attempt to fix or resolve the concern. The other person still “owns” this.
Begin the problem-solving. Once they have given the second round of input, you could simply ask, “How can I help?” Or, if you think you have something in mind you want to share: “Would it be helpful if I…?” The key here is that you are sharing the decision-making with the audience member – and are more likely to be on-target when you do finally provide some answer.
Responding to concerns or complaints is ideally a collaborative process. Too often, we feel we have to “fix” learner concerns from the front of the room. Not true!
We don’t need to put all that pressure on ourselves to come up with the perfect response that mitigates any learner concerns. Let them vent or explain a little bit more, and see if they identify what might be helpful for themselves. If they don’t, you then can suggest a course of action, such as, “Would it be helpful if I shared a little background on how these priorities were developed?”
I think of this process as, “I don’t want to try and change this other person.” In fact, many of our “helping” responses are just that — “I can’t accept that you feel that way, so I’m going to try and change or fix your thinking or beliefs.” It can become adversarial (even subtly) — even though you’re trying to help.
The best way to avoid that trap is to focus on figuring out what the other person feels might be helpful — if anything — for moving forward. This way of thinking — this process — can really ease the potential discomfort and stress in these situations.
I encourage you to take it for a test drive yourself. Let me know what you learn!
Brian Lange is with Perim Consulting and serves as lead facilitator for LTEN PrimeTime! For Trainers workshops. Email Brian at blange@perim.com or connect with him on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/brianplange.
