When the U.S. Surgeon General called me in 2019 to interview me for his book about the loneliness epidemic, I had a lot to say. By then, I had already spent six years deeply immersed in the research around how screen time affects connection, especially among youth, while creating the first Screenagers film.
What I most wanted to talk about, though, wasn’t the problem itself, but the solutions, because, as any parent knows, simply telling kids to “get off your phone” or “go see a friend” is fraught with pushback and challenges. For some kids, shyness or social anxiety makes in-person connections hard. For others, even if they don’t have a phone, they’re still surrounded by peers staring at screens.
Solutions are so important because online-offline social stressors are so rampant for young people. For example, if a child sends a text to a peer and then leaves a message on “Read”, meaning they read it but aren’t responding, it can lead the waiting child or teen to ruminate for hours. This example of being left on “Read,” along with many other online relationship stressors, is brought up by teens in Screenagers: NEXT CHAPTER, which explores the social and mental health challenges they face in today’s digital world.
Let’s discuss what helps youth feel connected. I offer four ideas today, but in the four Screenagers films, there are dozens of other practical solutions, as well as in my podcast and over 500 blog entries to date.
One promising solution comes from student-led wellness clubs that focus on social skills, emotional well-being, and meaningful connections.
A powerful ingredient in these clubs is that young people work together on projects that feel bigger than themselves. Many schools now have student-led mental health clubs that take various forms, including social skill-building activities, advocacy and awareness efforts, and peer-support initiatives. What they share is a sense of purpose and belonging.
When teens join something they choose rather than something they’re required to take, it changes the energy completely. Even if they start off only mildly interested, the shared work toward something meaningful creates authentic connection.
During the pandemic, I worked with more than 100 teens to co-develop and refine a peer program that combines science, smallgroup discussions, and real-world activities to strengthen social skills and emotional bravery, creating something called Boosting Bravery.
It was so successful that over half of the participating high school students wanted to do the program again!
While the program initially began as an online initiative, it is now available as a free program for any school that wishes to participate.
Another area I see teens find meaningful social connections has to do with peer-to-peer educational efforts.
What a gift it was to film in California at a high school where teens, enthusiastically led by a teacher, were teaching ninth graders about substance use issues and sharing related materials with middle schoolers. These high schoolers were so animated as they worked on their PowerPoint presentations, discussing how to best convey information to younger peers without talking down to them. They listened intently to each other during their preparation.
Seeing the teaching in action and the responses from the students who learned from these caring older peers showed how meaningful the experience was for everyone involved. It is a wonderful scene in Screenagers: Under the Influence: Addressing Vaping, Drugs, and Alcohol in the Digital Age.
I really appreciate the bonds that formed among the students as they created and implemented each of these talks.
Another kind of belonging comes from youth-led mental health advocacy clubs. Across the country, teens are stepping up to start conversations that once stayed in the shadows.
For example, researchers at the University of Washington, in Seattle, developed a framework for student-run clubs to talk about mental health and to raise awareness, including how to prevent suicide.
At my children’s high school, one such club hosted brunches where they invited other students, their parents, and teachers. During the events, the club members shared personal stories, dispelled myths, and promoted more constructive ways of thinking about suicide prevention and action steps if anyone was experiencing suicidal thoughts.
A powerful story of one teen in this club, who struggles with anxiety and depression, and found that working with the club helped her in many ways, is shared as one of several stories in Screenagers Next Chapter.
Finally, we cannot discuss belonging without mentioning sleep. Navigating peer relationships can be emotionally exhausting, even for well-rested teens. But when kids and adolescents are sleep-deprived, which is increasingly common due to devices in bedrooms at night, their brains operate more from the emotional centers than from the logical ones.
Research shows that tired kids are more reactive and more likely to misinterpret social cues, all of which make it s.
That’s a big reason we recently launched the Screen-Free Sleep campaign. Protecting young people’s sleep isn’t just about physical health; it’s about supporting emotional agility, self-regulation, and the social skills that allow them to connect meaningfully with others.
In an age when digital connection often replaces 3D connection, we must be intentional about creating spaces for our youth where belonging and connection can happen. Wellness clubs, youth advocacy, and something that may seem tangential, but is actually fundamental, better sleep, all contribute to this goal.
Belonging doesn’t just happen. It’s built through shared purpose, real conversation, and the kind of presence that only happens when we look up from our screens and truly see one another.
Delaney Ruston, MDis a co-filmmaker of the Screenagers films.info@thescreenagersproject.com