It was barely five months ago that Grayson Murray sat in the glow of his personal redemption and his professional fulfillment after his victory at the Sony Open in Hawaii.
Everything, it seemed, was beautiful.
Murray had beaten Keegan Bradley in a sudden-death playoff to change the arc of his career, he had found sobriety, religion, a partner and a path forward that could guide him away from the demons that had followed him like a shadow.
It was heart-warming and affirming, like a door thrown open on a dark room.
“My story is not finished. I think it's just beginning,” Murray said on that Sony Sunday.
Murray’s story abruptly ended over the weekend when he took his own life at age 30 after withdrawing from the Charles Schwab Challenge in Fort Worth, Texas, with two holes remaining in his second round.
Late Sunday morning, Murray’s parents, Eric and Terry Murray, issued a statement through the PGA Tour about what happened:
“We have spent the last 24 hours trying to come to terms with the fact that our son is gone. It’s surreal that we not only have to admit it to ourselves, but that we also have to acknowledge it to the world. It’s a nightmare.
“We have so many questions that have no answers.
“But one.
“Was Grayson loved? The answer is yes. By us, his brother Cameron, his sister Erica, all of his extended family, by his friends, by his fellow players and – it seems – by many of you who are reading this. He was loved and he will be missed.
“We would like to thank the PGA Tour and the entire world of golf for the outpouring of support. Life wasn’t always easy for Grayson, and although he took his own life, we know he rests peacefully now.
“Please respect our privacy as we work through this incredible tragedy, and please honor Grayson by being kind to one another. If that becomes his legacy, we could ask for nothing else.
“Thank you.”
Murray was a tortured soul and confessed as much as he told his story through the years. As his long-time friend Webb Simpson said Saturday, “Life's not easy. I think Grayson would put his hand up first and say it's not easy.”
The news of Murray’s death also brought to mind what comedian Robin Williams once said: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
If the golf came relatively easy to Murray, there were other things that made his day-to-day life more challenging. Murray won three straight Callaway Junior World Championships, played college golf at Wake Forest, East Carolina and Arizona State and won the 2017 Barbasol Championship in his rookie season on the PGA Tour.
He lost his PGA Tour card, admitting later he struggled with alcohol addiction and depression, but regained his tour status with two wins on the Korn Ferry Tour last year. His victory in Honolulu in January seemed to crown his comeback in golf and in life.
In 2021, Murray called out the PGA Tour on social media, saying it had not offered him help dealing with personal issues while acknowledging he was on probation for an incident in Hawaii. Commissioner Jay Monahan responded immediately, citing tour services available to Murray, and the two had personal conversations about the matter.
Upon hearing the news Saturday, Monahan flew immediately to Colonial Country Club where Murray had played the first two rounds of the Charles Schwab Challenge.
“I'm devastated by Grayson's loss, obviously… The conversations I had with him, particularly the last year, I learned an awful lot from him. He was very open and transparent with me,” Monahan said. “When we talked, and when we talked about the subject, it was what could we be doing to get better or just updating him on where we were, amongst the many other topics that he and I talked about.
“He had very strong opinions, you know, and he challenged us, and I found that to be very helpful because you can learn a lot when people speak their truth in the way that he did.”
Last summer, Murray reportedly openly challenged Rory McIlroy in a players’ meeting about the new tour schedule favoring top players to which McIlroy is said to have replied, “Play better.”
“There are days where I didn't want to get out of bed. I just thought I was a failure. I always looked at myself as a failure. I thought I had a lot of talent that was just a waste of talent. It was a bad place, but like I said, you have to have courage. You have to have the willingness to keep going.”
Grayson Murray
Murray was willing to share his story as he moved into the next phase of his life. He understood his words and actions had an impact and he needed to earn back the respect and friendship he had lost with some people.
“It definitely seemed like there was more of a lightness to him, in a good way, over these past few months when I would see him,” said Simpson, who credited Murray’s renewed faith as having influenced his friend.
When Murray won in Hawaii, he said he had been sober for eight months and he had been in rehab previously. A native of Raleigh, North Carolina, where the late Jim Valvano had coached N.C. State to a national basketball championship, Murray cited Valvano’s advice to “let someone else fight for you” when you get tired of fighting and credited the people around him for helping him.
“There are days where I didn't want to get out of bed,” Murray said in January. “I just thought I was a failure. I always looked at myself as a failure. I thought I had a lot of talent that was just a waste of talent. It was a bad place, but like I said, you have to have courage. You have to have the willingness to keep going.”
It’s easy, given their profession and all that comes with it, to see professional golfers in a different light. They play for millions. They are watched by thousands. They make a difficult game seem manageable.
Three weeks ago at the Wells Fargo Championship in Charlotte, Murray tied for 10th and won more than $500,000 while spending time with his mother there.
But professional golfers are also like the rest of us. They have their own challenges, their own battles. Marriages break. Weaknesses take over. Anger and depression are real.
“It’s just so sad,” said Peter Malnati, who was paired with Murray on Thursday and Friday.
Murray lived it. He shared it. He fought it.
To the end.
The 988 Lifeline, operated by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing, provides free and confidential support from trained crisis counselors to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Dial or text 988 for help, 24 hours a day.
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Top: Grayson Murray during the first round of the 2024 Charles Schwab Challenge
Tim Heitman, Getty Images