Here is a reminder from 2020 about the ever pervasive money.
From simple needs and trading food, shells or stones, furs, beads, blankets, and finally Money, humans have always valued some form of wealth.
Sigmund Freud laid the groundwork for much of our thinking about the psyche and human instincts or motivations. In particular, he spoke of sex and aggression. He probably needed to spend some time focused on Money, too.
There is a prevalent taboo against talking about Money. This seems strange since there is so much emphasis on Money. We think of “taboo” as being associated with primitive cultures, but the civilized world has its own taboos. Of those taboos, sex used to be, and for many, still is the most obvious. Just as nice people don’t talk about sex; nice people also don’t talk about Money. Example: You are in a crowd of people waiting to enter a restaurant and your seven-year-old child or grandchild loudly asks, “How much money do you make? We’re rich, aren’t we?” What is your first reaction?
Many, many stories exist about wealth and out of control destructive occurrences associated with it. When it comes to having Money, studies have shown a high income may buy life satisfaction, but not happiness.
Of course, Greek mythology’s Midas informed us of the tragedy from the obsession for gold.
Midas was a king of great fortune who ruled the country of Phrygia, in Asia Minor. He had everything a king could wish for. He lived in luxury in a great castle. He shared his life of abundance with his beautiful daughter. Even though he was very rich, Midas thought that his greatest happiness was provided by gold. His avarice was such that he used to spend his days counting his golden coins! Occasionally he used to cover his body with gold objects, as if he wanted to bathe in them. Money was his obsession.
One day, Dionyssus, the god of wine and revelry, passed through the kingdom of Midas. One of his companions, a satyr named Silenus, got delayed along the way. Silenus got tired and decided to take a nap in the famous rose gardens surrounding the palace of king Midas. There, he was found by the king, who recognized him instantly and invited him to spend a few days at his palace.
After that, Midas took him to Dionyssus. The god of celebration, very grateful to Midas for his kindness, promised Midas to satisfy any wish. Midas thought for a while and then he said: I hope that everything I touch becomes gold. Dionyssus warned the king to think well about his wish, but Midas was positive. Dionyssus could do nothing else and promised the king that from that following day everything he touched would turn into gold.
The next day, Midas, woke up eager to see if his wish would become true. He extended his arm touching a small table that immediately turned into gold. Midas jumped with happiness! He then touched a chair, the carpet, the door, his bathtub, a table and so he kept on running in his madness all over his palace until he got exhausted and happy at the same time!
He sat at the table to have breakfast and took a rose between his hands to smell its fragrance. When he touched it, the rose became gold. I will have to absorb the fragrance without touching the roses, I suppose, he thought in disappointment. Without even thinking, as he tried to eat a grape it also turned into gold! The same happened with a slice of bread and a glass of water. Suddenly, he started to sense fear. Tears filled his eyes and that moment his beloved daughter entered the room. When Midas hugged her, she turned into a golden statue! Despaired and fearful, he raised his arms and prayed to Dionyssus to take this curse from him.
The atonement god heard Midas and felt sorry for him. He told Midas to go to river Pactolus and wash his hands. Midas did so: he ran to the river and was astonished to see gold flowing from his hands. The ancient Greeks said they had found gold on the banks of the river Pactolus. When he returned home, everything Midas had touched had become normal again. Midas hugged his daughter in full happiness and decided to share his great fortune with his people. From then on Midas was generous and grateful for all goods of his life. His people led a prosperous life and when he died, they all mourned for their beloved king.
Aesop’s story of the Golden Goose further punctuates the dangers of being preoccupied with Money and immediate gratification.
If you want a more modern time example just read about the Getty family or go See the movie “All the Money in the World”.
Then there are people like Warren Buffett and Bill and Melinda Gates who have taken a very different path.
Personally, I seem to have been lucky enough to always have a sense of confidence that no matter what, I could make the money I needed in the present and for the future but have never been preoccupied with accumulating large amounts. Frankly, I’ve enjoyed the challenges and effort of pursuing and creating ways to make money as much as actually getting it – “thanks dad and mom”.
Attitudes and beliefs about Money develop over time but early influences and experiences determine a lot about how each person will relate to Money.
Poverty, abundance, emotional scarcity, and everything in between have lasting impacts.
Money is Freedom, Power, Security, Love, Control, Necessary, Troublesome, and Desired. Possessions are extensions of ourselves. The concept of “mine” along with the tension between needs and wants begin early in life.
In our culture we value both psychologically and socially the behaviors that represent Striving, Earning, Ingenuity, and Hard Work. Clearly, these are associated with Money.
Business is about making Money. Family business relational connections and emotions mixed with Money are a cauldron of complexity.
Words like Greed, Selfish, and Vanity are associated with Money, as well as Responsible, Accountable, Saving, Generosity, Spendthrift, Frugal, Success.
And now we can even have Money without touching it.
Money isn’t worth anything until you spend it – Jimmy Rogers
Golden Rule: He who has the gold rules.
How much is enough? More than what you have – Most Entrepreneurs
Whoever loves Money never has Money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. Ecclesiastes 5:10
If Money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. – Henry Ford
I love Money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. –Steve Martin
What Money messages are you living by and transferring to those around you?
What is money to you? What is your definition of Money?
Are you your Money or is Money just an add on app?
What is your FSAQ – Financial Self Absorption Quotient?
What is your FIQ – Financial Independence Quotient?
Try this: Imagine that your Money is being interviewed on national television. What would it say when asked how it thinks the relationship between you is going and how it feels about the way you treat it?
Perhaps your Money will reply: “I love you too.” Or, “You know, you’re squeezing me so tight, I can’t breathe. You need to let go a little.” Or, “You throw me around, you don’t treat me with respect.” Or, “You’re always talking about me.” Or, “We make a pretty good team.” Or, “Thanks for sharing me.” Or, ……
This would be a good conversation to have at a family meeting.
There will always be complexity around Money for each individual and for every family business. Opportunities for generosity, entitlement, malignant materialistic lifestyle, conspicuous consumption and more abound.
For sure – wealth without good values = unhappiness.
And one last quote: “It’s not what you have it’s who you have to share it with that matters.”— Doug Beck, previous SIGMA member
What’s in your wallet?
Soon,
Ron
Ronald C. Reece, Ph.D. is a Consulting Psychologist who specializes in Family and Closely Held Business Consulting.
He can be found at:800 E. Washington St., Ste-CGreenville, SC 29601Phone 864-233-6648 fax (864) 233-3706,email reeceassc@aol.comwebsite www.ronreece.com
