Estimated read time: 2 mins
It is a Sunday afternoon. A dentist friend has just called for advice. He works in a five-surgery practice and remarked how little interaction there is between colleagues – no one says good morning, few offer help, and some hardly engage at all. “Everyone is out for themselves,” he lamented.
His experience only reinforces what we already know – dentistry is often described as a ‘lonely’ profession. Despite the constant presence of patients, many practitioners work in relative isolation. The challenges of clinical decision-making, difficult patients, and the emotional toll of complaints or adverse events can weigh heavily if carried alone. It is at times like this that the value of true friendship becomes clear.
Many members will first seek comfort from close friends when faced with a problem before they contact us for advice. Friendship provides reassurance and perspective, but it is important to remember that well-meaning advice from friends is not a substitute for formal dentolegal guidance. Friends can sometimes be biased, whereas professional advisers provide the objectivity and expertise required to manage risk effectively.
Aristotle, in the Nicomachean Ethics, described three kinds of friendship. The first is based on utility – relationships formed because they are useful to both parties. The second is based on pleasure – friends who enjoy each other’s company but whose connection is fleeting. The third, and highest, is the friendship of virtue – based on mutual respect, trust, and shared values.
In reality, all three co-exist (see figure 1). We make friends of utility in professional life - colleagues we collaborate with or turn to for advice. We find friends of pleasure at social events, conferences, peer review meetings, or study clubs. But it is the friendship of virtue that we rely on when things go wrong – friends who offer honest counsel, and whose loyalty is unconditional and not contingent on our success.
Figure 1 : Friendship
Fidelity goes beyond simple loyalty. It implies faithfulness, reliability, and staying true even when circumstances change. In friendship, it is the quality that ensures support does not disappear when success fades or challenges arise. In professional life, fidelity means being faithful to our patients, our values, and the ethical standards of dentistry.
Fidelity is like the lettering in a stick of seaside rock – running all the way through, visible no matter where you break it. It is this reliability that transforms fleeting or transactional connections into enduring ones, and sustains trust between colleagues, patients, and the profession.
Social media has reshaped the way we think about friendship. Platforms reward visibility and appearance over authenticity. Online, one can accumulate hundreds, if not thousands, of ‘friends’ or followers. A friend may also be a follower, and over time, some followers may become genuine friends. But trust is not built on followers or likes, it rests on friendships grounded in fidelity – loyalty, honesty, and support when the pressure mounts.
In an age of constant posting, likes, and algorithm-driven validation, it is easy to forget what is really important. Social media can be addictive, drawing us into cycles of comparison and curated identity. For dentists, this can distort both self-perception and professional priorities – chasing visibility rather than authenticity.
It is easy to overlook the fact that a hundred online reactions are no substitute for one trusted friend who listens, cares, and stands by us when things are difficult. Sheldon Cohen’s landmark paper on social relationships and health showed that it is the quality of connections, especially those offering trust, reciprocity, and emotional support, that predicts resilience, reduced stress, and even lower susceptibility to illness (Cohen, 2004).
Furthermore, research shows that excessive social media use is associated with addictive behaviours, reduced wellbeing, and increased symptoms of anxiety and depression - particularly when online interactions replace deeper, supportive relationships (Andreassen et al., 2017).
A systematic review confirmed that supportive friendships consistently correlate with better mental health, resilience, and life satisfaction (Pillemer et al., 2023). There is also compelling evidence that people with close friendships have lower blood pressure, reduced risk of chronic disease, and even longer lifespans compared to those who are socially isolated (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).
For dentists, this means deliberately cultivating not just professional networks but genuine friendships. A true friend will:
Listen when you are struggling.
Offer perspective rather than judgement.
Celebrate your successes without envy.
Remain loyal when things are difficult.
These qualities mirror Aristotle’s friendship of virtue. Not every colleague will become a confidant – some professional relationships will remain transactional. What matters is recognising which friendships carry the qualities of trust, respect, and fidelity. These are the ones worth nurturing.
For generations, friendship has provided humanity with support, perspective, and resilience. No digital platform, however compelling, can replace that. Aristotle’s insight remains timeless – friendships of utility and pleasure have their place, but it is friendships of virtue that we most need.
Followers may give visibility, friends provide strength, but fidelity is what defines our profession. It is the same fidelity that underpins the way our team supports members every day.
References
Cohen, S. (2004) American Psychologist, 59(8), pp. 676–684.r Reading
Andreassen, C.S., Pallesen, S. and Griffiths, M.D. (2017) Addictive Behaviors, 64, pp. 287–293.
Pillemer, J., Umberson, D., Chen, H. et al. (2023) Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 990270.
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B. and Layton, J.B. (2010) PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
