Spring 2020Supporting Trans, Gender-Nonconforming, and Gender Expansive Students

img1Supporting Trans, Gender-Nonconforming, and Gender Expansive StudentsBy María Mónica Andia and Lenni Yesnerimg2As educators situated on the bridge from high school to college, it is our job to ensure that our students transition into the adulthood that is most supportive of their joy and wellness.That process often includes the college search, and for transgender and gender nonconforming (TGNC) young people, the application experience can be very activating. TGNC youth experience a particular urgency as they apply to colleges. That urgency lies in a desire to live free of the limitations imposed by the gender binary (the idea that there are only two genders) and cisnormativity (the assumption that everyone is cisgender, or identifies with the sex assigned at birth).Therefore, when supporting our TGNC students in postsecondary planning, we have a choice—we can either uphold the cis- and heternonormative ideals prevalent in our society, or we can embrace gender liberation and provide the nuanced care and support TGNC youth require during this critical transition.As two counselors who have helped students through the process, here’s what we’ve learned along the way.img3Lenni Yesner—Create a Supportive EnvironmentMy own experience supporting TGNC youth really pivoted when I came out as trans and nonbinary in my late 20s. I had been a college access counselor for almost seven years at that point. And even though I worked at one of the most progressive high schools in New York City, It was only after the city passed an ordinance prohibiting workplace harassment and deliberate misgendering that I did it. I thought to myself, “What would I want the young people I work with to be able to do?” and the answer became clear; I put on my big kid pants and shared with the whole community.Opening that door changed me. Soon, the little queerlings, as I like to call them, knocked on my door. “How did you KNOW? And when?” they’d ask. As I answered and listened I learned all the ways that TGNC young people learned to hide themselves.One student came in as a junior. Listless and disheveled most days, she could barely hold eye contact. Then one day her mom shared after a College Fair Night that her child was trans. I understood why this young person’s light was dimmed. Over the next few months, she transitioned. She changed her name, began hormone therapy, began to dress as she wished, dyed her hair fire engine red, and wore eyeliner to school for the first time.She was truly alive and it was a sight to behold. Now she had a supportive family, a supportive school, and a supportive counselor. Can you imagine what would have happened if even one of those had been more hostile to her?img5Over the next few months, she transitioned. She changed her name, began to dress as she wished, dyed her hair fire engine red, and wore eyeliner to school for the first time.
When I met the principal of my new school this year, we talked about her students—predominantly black and brown young people, mostly boys. Our meeting, coincidently, was on Trans Day of Remembrance. The event honors the many trans people who are slain each year—mostly black and Latina trans women who were, not unlike my new school's students, also told they were "boys." We talked about how even with no "out" trans students, we owed it to our students' future selves to make the school as affirming as possible. I asked her what it would be like to have an openly genderqueer counselor, and she said: "We'll all just have to learn."We all just have to learn.We have to.We owe it to the young people we serve, to our colleagues, and to ourselves to learn and to demand environments that not only openly support trans youth, but help them turn their brights on.img4María Mónica Andia—Push for Change at Your SchoolAs counselors who are committed to supporting our students in finding the best and most welcoming universities for their continued education, we must also ensure that our high schools are equally welcoming.Efforts to dismantle heteronormativity and cisnormativity must be intentional and explicitly supportive of trans and gender-expansive experiences. The following steps can help support that work.

Educate your professional community! Take a look at your dress codes, bathrooms, school materials, and school climate. Is your school still upholding the gender binary (boy/girl)? Suggest an all-gender bathroom and talk about the dangers of continuing to see gender and expression through sex assumed at birth. Bring it up in staff meetings. Be the agitator so that students don’t have to be. Don’t wait until you have an out trans student needing support to make the changes.

Respect name preferences. Ask students how they want to be referred to (by their legal name, their preferred name, etc.) and to whom. Due to safety and privacy reasons, students may ask to be called different names in different scenarios. In some cases, they may still use their birth name or “dead name.” As a counselor, it is important that your relationship with your student be a space where they can experience being called by the name(s) of their choice.

Don’t assume. Young people are constantly figuring themselves out. If a student tells you they are trans you should feel lucky—it’s a sign they trust you! But don’t assume this is a phase and don’t assume it’s forever, either. Young people have the right to try on identities and see which ones fit. Young people have the right to change.

Update your paperwork. Change your counseling intake forms to make space for nonbinary students. Many colleges have already done this.

Practice pronouns. Practice asking for pronouns at the beginning of all meetings and events. Practice correcting yourself or others if someone messes up another person’s pronouns. Ask admission counselors to share their pronouns in introductions.

Seek out diverse job candidates. Hire queer and trans people, including queer and trans people of color. Young people need to see themselves reflected in your staff. Once you hire them, do more than tokenize them. Listen to their insights and make changes when they suggest them.

Dotted RuleMaría Mónica Andia is director of college success at the Brooklyn Emerging Leaders Academy (NY). Lenni Yesner is a school counselor and director of college, career & future planning at City Polytechnic High School of Engineering, Architecture and Technology (NY).CoverBay Path UniversityNote From The CEO: Our Work ContinuesMastheadEarly Action: Battling Bias, Embracing ChangeGuiding the Way to InclusionMembership MattersColleagues' CornerCBO Spotlight: Encouraging College AccessCreating A SIG: Engaging With Your ColleaguesProfessional TrendsBlog Log: Passion Led Us HereWomen of Color in Admission: Tips and Advice from Four of the Profession's LeadersSupporting Trans, Gender-Nonconforming, and Gender Expansive StudentsNACAC Working for YouStudent Center: Large or Small College?Conference Corner: Micro-Barriers in College AdmissionMinneapolis Minute: The SpaceAdvocacy: Advocacy in ActionRural Students: Breaking Down Barriers for Small-Town StudentsResources for Small-Town Counselors and StudentsNACAC Career CenterUsing Fly-Ins to Expand AccessParental LeaveNACAC Connects You to Decision-MakersInternational Students: Connecting With Canadian StudentsTransfer Trends: Increasing the Transfer Inquiry PoolDaytimerCommencement Speech: Leaning Into FirstCollege Admissions DecodedNACAC National Conference