Like my friend who searched the world for the perfect crème brûlée, I am on a lifelong quest.
I have been playing golf for nearly three-quarters of a century and have yet to find one vital piece of clothing necessary on a winter’s day. I have a handwarmer and raingear, both merino and cotton thermal underwear, thick woollen socks and less thick cotton ones, a beanie hat (cashmere no less), a band to warm my ears and many sweaters. In short, everything I need to play golf on a day when the temperature is around freezing. Everything, that is, except comfortable, well-fitting, good-looking and, most of all, waterproof golf shoes.
Just the other day, after a brisk nine holes, I sat on a wooden bench in the changing room at my golf club and eased off my golf shoes, then my socks, which were so wet I could have wrung the water out of them. Then I looked down and contemplated my wet feet, which were white with cold.
I have golf shoes that suffice – just – in summer, spring and autumn. But as for shoes that will keep my tootsies toasty and dry in wet conditions on a dank December day and not resemble rubber overshoes? So far, none.
Oh dear, my feet. They are not everyone’s cup of tea. Indeed, quite often they feel as though they are not mine, shrivelled, cramped, discoloured and damp as they are. But they are the only ones I have and if I play golf in wet weather or when the grass is glistening with frost then my feet are going to suffer. Why?
I am my father’s son. Rooting around in the basement of his house a few years ago I came across a cupboard with the door hanging half off. It squeaked as I opened it to reveal 18 pairs of golf shoes inside. Eighteen pairs. I know, I counted them. What on earth did he want with 18 pairs of golf shoes?
He lived in search of the appropriate golf shoes – ones that cushioned his feet from hard unyielding fairways of summer and kept his feet warm and dry in winter.
Like father, like son. I have golf shoes that suffice – just – in summer, spring and autumn. But as for shoes that will keep my tootsies toasty and dry in wet conditions on a dank December day and not resemble rubber overshoes? So far, none.
None that satisfy all the requirements of being well-fitting, comfortable, warm and dry, and looking robust and appropriate on a golf course of which parts might resemble a muddy field. Some meet some of these requirements, some others. None do them all. Why not?
Am I asking for the moon? Will I never be fulfilled? Or rather more to the point, if I continue to play golf in the winter am I compelled to do so in shoes that leak?
John Hopkins
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Top: Bruce Yuanyue Bi, Getty Images