A Household of Faith

Betty and Shealy McCoy of Columbia, South Carolina, are each living with unusual cancer – each type totally unrelated, and so rare they account for less than 1 percent of all cancers.

Even though their cancers are debilitating and aggressive, even though their cancers could return at any moment and knock their feet out from under them, the McCoys have decided to rely completely on their faith in God. In the arms of their church family, they are fighting back against the disease, choosing life, no matter the circumstances.

And in that faith, the two members of Trenholm Road United Methodist Church have discovered unexpected beauty and humanity they never would have known had they not come this close to death and out the other side. That beauty comes both from their own faith and from the love they experience in what Shealy McCoy calls their “household of faith” – a congregation that prayed them through and still prays for them today.

Betty had leiomyosarcoma, a fast-acting cancer that develops in smooth muscles and soft tissues; she is currently in remission. Her husband, Shealy, was diagnosed with peritoneal carcinomatosis, a cancer in the thin layer of tissue lining the abdomen.

By all accounts, they’re fighting tough odds: so tough it took them two years even to find a person living with Betty’s disease, so tough only a percentage survive the surgery Shealy had, and an even smaller percentage survive with quality of life.

But their story is a happy one, they say, and always circles back to God, who keeps them firmly in God’s hands.

Betty’s surprise

During Betty’s hysterectomy, doctors found an unwelcome surprise: a leiomyosarcoma hiding behind a large benign tumor inside her uterus. Sarcomas are forceful cancers, and doctors had to work quickly. Chemotherapy and radiation don’t often work for that cancer, so surgeons focused on removing the tumor through surgery.

Her circle at Trenholm Road, plus other women of faith, became an unexpected lifeline. Not only did they surround her with prayer throughout her cancer journey, but they also surprised her with what she calls “the little, practical things.” One friend, knowing Betty was vegan, didn’t know what food to make.

“She sent three lasagnas – meat, veggie and green!” Betty said, laughing.

Other friends sent grocery money, or just showed up to walk with her during recuperation. Their love humbled her deeply.

“All the extraneous stuff falls away when you go through this,” Betty said. “In the hospital room, the prayers are palpable. You can actually feel them.”

Two scares and 11 years later, Betty remains in remission.

Shealy’s turn

However, seven years later, it was Shealy’s turn. Shealy became violently ill one night, his stomach the size of a basketball. Unbeknownst to him, a massive tumor had burst. The biopsy revealed a cancer so rare only four hospitals possessed the skill set to operate on him. The cancer was also advanced: stage IV.

The diagnosis shell-shocked the family. Quickly, they made plans to travel to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where they would soon begin a treatment so dangerous it must be a last option, when there is no other hope for survival.

Doctors performed a HIPEC – Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy – one of the most innovative treatments available. The surgeons cut from the sternum to pubic bone, removed tumors from the abdominal cavity and then bathed the cavity with extremely hot chemotherapy to kill any cancer left.

“My first surgery was 13 hours long, what they call the Mother of All Surgeries, more intense than heart surgery,” Shealy said. “You sign these papers, and they all say ‘in the event of death,’ and it was all very clear to me. You know you’re living in that moment.”

As a Christian, Shealy had made peace with the possibility he might not make it, but he wasn’t about to give up the fight.

Shealy was lucky: Doctors were able to remove most of the cancer. But by no means was he home free. He has since gone through two more surgeries, plus heart surgery. His latest checkup was positive, and he is now on a six-month return schedule – phenomenal for someone once at death’s door.

Learning to receive

Again, Trenholm Road was there for them during Shealy’s cancer.

“When you don’t have family in town, your church is your family, and that’s who I called,” Betty said.

It was the everyday things – checking the house, getting mail, handling the dogs, helping with expenses.

For someone far more comfortable with being on the giving side of things, she said it was sometimes difficult to let go and accept all people offered. However, they had no choice, and the beauty she experienced in learning to receive overwhelmed her. One woman, a recent widow, began texting the McCoys daily with heartfelt prayer messages.

“She didn’t just say a quick ‘I’m praying for you.’ She found a verse, wrote a devotional and sent it to us every morning,” Betty said. “Even in her own personal crisis, she was there.”

Often, people promise prayer, or say, “Let me know how I can help.” But as Betty said, “The people who just did something, who reached out and said what they were going to do and then followed through, were absolutely invaluable.”

The prayer and support had a larger impact, as well.

Shealy said he would never forget how their pastor, the Rev. Wayne Horne, came to visit when he was in a major depression. By the time Horne left, Shealy was on the right path again spiritually and mentally.

“I still use his saying today: ‘Well, Shealy, you have to just get used to a new normal.’ It helped me make a huge switch in my mental attitude.”

He will also never forget the warm feeling of peace when he learned the entire congregation was praying for him. Not only did the prayers comfort him, but he is convinced they affected his surgery – and his doctor felt it, too.

After the surgery, Shealy’s doctor came into the hospital room and told him how close he’d come to death. However, suddenly during surgery, the doctor said, “Something was with you.”

Shealy believes their prayers saved his life.

Being church

In addition to their church family, the McCoys were touched by so many who prayed for them: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, even atheists.

“The theme for our lives is how our faith carries us. You have challenges, and you get through the lowest lows, and you either live in that moment or you start dying slowly, not just physically, but spiritually,” Shealy said.

“You just have to trust and pray yourself through,” Betty added. “You don’t know the whys and hows. You just have to accept it.”

And you have to remember, they say, no matter what we go through, God is there. God is right beside us, leading us to experiences so beautiful and enriching that they bring new insight, glory and grace, no matter the outcome.

Today, the McCoys do their part to be the church for others experiencing crises.

“Church is family,” Betty said. “It has its foibles, its ups and downs, but it was there. And it gave us real peace.”

Jessica Brodie is editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate (www.advocatesc.org).