If you’re a golfer, you’ve been there.
It’s Christmas and someone has given you a golf-themed present.
Only they don’t play golf.
They wouldn’t know a 58-degree wedge with 12 degrees of bounce if Bob Vokey delivered it to them personally.
To be clear, we all understand that it’s not so much about the gift itself but about the soul-enriching act of giving a gift. Having accepted that as the foundation for gift giving and receiving – like keeping your head relatively still is central to the golf swing – golf gifts are fraught with peril.
Two words come to mind:
Like putting mats that fit around your toilet.
Interesting but nothing anyone would – or should – ever want.
They may not understand you don’t want the giant argyle print vest with a golfer swinging on the front.
We’re all familiar with the notion of giving someone something they wouldn’t buy for themselves.
In the case of most golfers, there’s a reason they didn’t buy a clip-on scorecard holder for themselves. Or why they didn’t order that magic club from the internet. Or why they didn’t buy those glasses designed to help you find golf balls.
It’s tough for non-golfers to shop for golfers. They may not understand you don’t want the giant argyle print vest with a golfer swinging on the front. Naked lady tees were funny when Rodney Dangerfield asked for them in Caddyshack but not today.
You may want a new driver for Christmas but chances are you’re going to have to buy that one for yourself, seeing as they’re priced higher than your average stocking stuffer.
If you’re like me, someone usually asks if there’s something golf-related I would like for Christmas.
The answer is always the same:
It’s the perfect gift for golfers.
And if those golf balls are $15 a dozen, you can pass them along to someone else next Christmas.
Ron Green Jr.